hi.

Long Hair Don’t Care…Er, sort of

I hate to admit it, but I miss my long hair!  Not saying I regret shaving it, that was the most exhilarating thing I’ve done to challenge body image and such but now I’m bored and the change from short to long is not as instantly gratifying as long to short.  Just…3 more years to go!  Come on, little ones, sprout forth…so is growing hair similar to growing plants? If I wash my hair a lot is that like watering them?  On the upside, it doesn’t do much for my dating life so I have a lot more time to focus on school and work. That was the plan, to clear the distractions in my life, so I guess it worked! Well, at least my agent thinks I’m fierce. ^^

3 more years to get from this:

(Photo: Peter Mellekas)

To this: 

(Photo: Charles Lucima)

Well I guess if sunshine and water helps plants grow, then I should hit the beach a lot this summer! ^^

I Met Britney! (In my dream)

I just woke up from an interesting dream…I was sitting in a cafeteria and Britney was sitting at the table in front of me, and they were playing music videos of all her old hits from the Baby One More Time album on the television screen and Baby One More Time came on and I was so happy I went over to talk to her and congratulate her on her career, and she was such a sweetheart and I told her how that album was my favorite CD growing up as a kid and that I used to listen to it all the time and it made me want to be a singer, and I was just so happy.

Then I went to do laundry in my dream but all the machines were full and I was late to catch a tour bus and to mail out birthday cards.  But whatever, the first part of the dream was the best!

I woke up with the feeling that I had just experienced something amazing! Isn’t it weird how even though it didn’t happen, dreams go into our emotional memories anyway?

xxx,

JJL

Models and Ballers

You know, I realized why models like to date athletes, it’s because they are tall! Forget all that stuff about good looks and physique, whatever…these models are like 5’10” at shortest, and they just want somebody who doesn’t get scared away when they enter the room! So next to somebody who is a foot taller than they are, they can feel girly and cute again.

Personally, if I was that tall I wouldn’t give a fishcake about feeling cute and girly…I would own that Amazonian woman status and wear the pants! I wish I was 5’10”…I’m so glad they invented heels. :)

New original song, trying some different sounds!

X Games: Nyjah Huston

Don’t know much about the X Games, but my roommate had it on at dinner last night and I discovered this glory: Nyjah Huston.  FYI: The kid is 18!

*Sigh.

xxx,

JJL

Tonsillectomy Day 3

It’s weird not being able to talk…I just had my tonsils removed on Monday and today is the first time I’m venturing out on the T again for a go-see. I figured I might as well get back to work if it doesn’t involve speaking. It’s weird because usually on the T I don’t find myself talking to strangers anyway, but suddenly I am more aware of people and noises around me, maybe because I have lost one form of communication. It’s also weird because I feel like I can only hear at half the volume, like there is this weird pressure around my temples and I can’t yawn or anything to unplug it. Yawning just hurts.

Anyway, I’m hoping I can get through this go-see rather painlessly, that they will be understanding of my voicelessness. Crossing my fingers!

xxx,
JJL

One pink flower in a field of weeds :)

Cat Dream

I just took a much needed nap and I had the weirdest dream…in my dream I was lying in my bed trying to sleep and I saw a mouse go by my window, and I started to scream but then I saw this big furry cat chase it, and I felt assured that it would take care of it, but then I saw 4 cats outside my window and they were all trying to break in through the screen.  Now I’ve been pretty sketched out by my screen because it doesn’t seem very secure, and when I’m really tired I sometimes get anxiety that somebody is going to break in through my window and I dream about scary things coming in.  So these cats were all pawing and meowing and trying to get in, and although I wasn’t scared of them per se they were alley cats and I was sketched out that they’d bring fleas or something into my apartment.  Well they broke through and I tried to catch them but they were very sneaky and started hiding everywhere.  Then my mom came to visit, who is scared of cats, and I was frantically trying to find the little guys to return them outside, but I felt bad because it looked like all they wanted was someplace warm to sleep out of the rain and somebody to love them.

xx,

Jen

Relevance

I think the reason why people have kids is to stay relevant. Like when we start becoming obsolete, we can point to our kids and be like, “But wait, I’m busy raising kids that are relevant!” Seriously, can you imagine having to stay relevant all by yourself for 100 years? When I was a kid, there was no such thing as facebook, twitter, or smartphones. Social media was making fake usernames and stats to go into anonymous chatrooms and laugh about how everyone there was having a fake conversation because everyone was terrified of releasing their real name or any identifiable information to the Internet. And God help you if a photo of you got released! That would be the end of your privacy for sure. Some 40-year old stalker would definitely come find you at your house.

Oh how things have changed, I’m posting this from an app on my smartphone that just asked me if it could access my location and all my photos. Of course, it’s tumblr, so I trust it because it’s corporate. Right?
xxx,
J

Higher Ground. New song about faith and finding a way out when everything seems lost.